My Lives As Fate's Chew Toy - Introduction
by DeiStarr
Summary: Being trapped in a cycle of endless reincarnation with all the memories of your past lives brought along for the ride feels a lot like being made into Fate's own personal chew toy. Just call me Chewie; CT for short. 1st in FCT series; all stories can be read either in order or as stand-alone stories.
1. Introduction

**My Lives As Fate's Chew Toy**

* * *

**Introduction**

* * *

**Summary:**_ Being trapped in a cycle of endless reincarnation with all the memories of your past lives brought along for the ride feels a lot like being made into Fate's own personal Chew Toy._

_Just call me Chewie; CT for short._

* * *

**A/N: **_Beta by the lovely Banshee-hime!_

* * *

_Oh oh Death_  
_Ohhh Death_  
_Oh oh Death,_  
_Won't you spare me over and over?_

_But what is this, that I can't see?_  
_With ice cold hands taking hold of me..._  
_When God is gone and the Devil takes hold,_  
_Who'll have mercy on your soul?_

_Oh oh Death_  
_Ohhh Death_  
_Oh oh Death_

_(Oh oh Death)_  
_No wealth, no ruin, no silver, no gold._  
_Nothing satisfies me but your soul._

_(Oh oh Death)_  
_Well I am Death, none can excel,_  
_I'll open the door to heaven or hell._

_Oh oh Death_  
_Ohhh Death_  
_My name is Death and the end is here…_

_O Death - Jen Titus_

* * *

Reincarnation wasn't something I'd ever seriously considered. I mean, sure, I acknowledged that it was possible, but not something that anyone could or would remember or be aware of happening; that was kind of the point. While I admit I loved fanfiction with various reincarnated characters remembering their past lives, it was just that – fanfiction. A fantasy – not something that was actually real. Just something fun to read or think about that would never, ever happen. Not least because the idea of being reborn into a fictional universe was patently ridiculous; no matter how amazing it seemed in theory.

Admittedly, that mindset feels incredibly foreign to me now; even though I can still remember having it. Actually being reborn into stories has a way of changing your perspective – I find it easier now to consider that all life is essentially one big story somewhere; to accept that we are all characters in some other universe's fiction.

While I always did privately adore the infinite universe theory that in addition to multiple alternate universes there were also multiple alternate realities where the laws of the universes and their realities themselves could be different – and therefore fiction writers might not be imaginative so much as possessing a sixth sense that allowed them to intuitively perceive events from those alternate universes and realities – it wasn't something I ever thought could or would be proven. Mainly because it was as incredible and unlikely as it would be awesome, and real life is just not that cool.

Ha.

Looking back, I really wanted to kick my past self for jinxing me. Because being cool in theory does not necessarily translate to being cool in practice.

For one thing, reincarnation is actually unbelievably traumatizing. Speaking from experience, I have to say that forgetting the process is as honestly as much about suppression of trauma as it is about starting over fresh – and that the subconscious triggering of said repressed trauma is probably why living beings possess a survival instinct.

For another, worlds that are cool to read and think about are not always cool to live in. Some of them are actually completely terrifying or horrific or both; and the reality of living in them is sickening. Some of them simply haven't had the social revolutions which this one has had, and equal rights don't exist.

It's enough to make my original life seem like a paradise, for all that I struggled with depression and mental health issues at the time. Enough that I can't help regarding my return to my original universe as a sort of vacation, for all that my myriad health issues should (and often do) make me very miserable.

Nevertheless, I'm taking the opportunity to relax in this safe, boring world – because as much as a small part of me hopes that returning here signals an end to this exhausting cycle, I've become far too cynical and disillusioned to expect it. All I can really do is be grateful for the reprieve, and devote all of my time that isn't taken up by my illness to decompressing and recovering in a bid to preserve as much of my remaining sanity as I can, for as long as possible. I'm either pessimistic enough or pragmatic enough to realise that I'm fighting a losing battle – people shouldn't remember past lives for a reason – but I'd prefer to put my inevitable slide into total and complete madness off for as long as possible. I'm self-aware enough to admit that I'm not entirely sane as it is, and I have no idea what my looping will look like after the rest of my mind goes.

Sometimes, lately I'm tired enough that I almost don't care anymore; I'm mentally and emotionally exhausted, and everything just hurts so much. Every time I die and am reborn, I'm grieving. I don't know what happens to my loved ones when they die, or after I'm gone – the one thing I know for certain is that I will never see them again. Even if I'm reborn into a world where I've lived previously, they won't be the same. The events and experiences that bound us together; the things that shaped us and made them into the people I knew and loved are different; even if only because I wasn't there to affect things, or because I affected things differently.

While I can change things to fall out the way they did previously, they still won't ever share the memories with me that their counterparts did. I can rebuild relationships and forge new ones with these familiar-yet-different versions of my old family and friends, but it never can and never will replace the old ones. It just serves as a constant reminder of my losses, and provides me with new ones to carry with me into my next incarnation. I can prevent old mistakes from occurring, resolve old regrets; but it's never quite right – it leaves me with new guilts and doubts about whether I'm dishonoring the memories of my old loved ones, and whether I'm doing my new ones a disservice or not.

Do I really love them for themselves, or for the other versions of them that I once knew? Is it fair of me to build relationships with people I might always be comparing with other versions of themselves in my head? Is it fair for me to forge these bonds under false pretences – when I know almost everything about them, and they have no idea? Am I manipulating them when I act to save them pain? Is it playing God for me to unilaterally make decisions about their futures like that? Is it selfish of me, even when I know the events I plan to change were ones that played a pivotal role in making them the people I knew and loved, just for the chance to spare them life-altering traumas? Or would it be far more selfish not to do so? Is it better or worse for me to get personally involved in their lives, or keep my distance while meddling from afar?

Sometimes the distance isn't even because they aren't the same people I once knew. Sometimes there's another, physically older/metaphysically younger version of me already there, being part of their lives; living an existence that was once mine, of which I can now only exist on the outskirts. It's a surreal feeling, being jealous of your own past self. To be trapped on the outside, watching a happiness long since lost to you with an aching, bittersweet longing curling around the edges of the dark void of emptiness that fills you; precious memories soured by the sharp tang of old grief and resentful jealousy.

So yes; I need this time – a chance to stop; to just breathe. To live in a world where I don't know the future; to be a part of a story where I don't know the plot, and I don't have to deal with the wearisome sense of responsibility that follows. My health seems such a small price to pay for the sheer relief of not having to save the world. Again.

Because whether I'm born into the role of a hero or not; whether my new life is fated or destined or somehow special, or even if there's absolutely nothing remarkable about my 'character' at all – if I know what's going to happen, if I have the opportunity to avert tragedy and don't take it… Well. I've always been a firm believer in the words of John Stewart Mills – that "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing." Add in my overblown guilt-complex and I can't really relegate myself to a bystander.

It really doesn't help that one of my most precious people in my first rebirth was one of the first casualties of a tragedy I hadn't regained the memories of until after it had already happened, and that many of the horrors that came after might have been averted had I finished awakening in time to prevent it.

The problem is that being a hero is hard. Saving the world is frequently an exhausting, monumental task; and more often than not, a thankless one. Just because you know something's wrong, or about to go wrong, doesn't mean you're in a position to do something about it. Oh, you can always do something; it's just that that something isn't necessarily very effective. You're not always born in a time and place and under circumstances that give you an opportunity to affect meaningful change with the information you have. More often than not, the actions you take to change that are incomprehensible to the people around you – you may come across as disturbing, immoral, or just plain crazy to those who don't know the things you do. And dying stupidly without actually accomplishing anything is frustrating in a lot of different ways.

Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty – even to the point of making yourself a villain. I've done some things that I might never forgive myself for, made choices that sometimes make it hard to sleep – knowing that you chose the lesser evil doesn't make it any easier to live with. I've been labelled dangerous and executed for treason more than once. While that's easier to stomach than ending up with innocent blood on my hands, I try to make sure that it doesn't happen without either being able to send warnings and whatever evidence I've found to someone who can and will do something with them, or if that fails at least loudly and publicly proclaiming the reasons for my actions in the hopes that someone who hears decides to investigate. It's not so much about clearing my name posthumously as it is about not wanting my efforts to go to waste.

Even when you are thanked for your efforts, it often results in unwanted expectations, heavy burdens, and overwhelming responsibilities you're neither prepared nor equipped to handle. Saving the world once is seen as some sort of sign, especially when you've been fated to do so; as if you're suddenly obligated to clean up after society. As if your sacrifices and efforts for the greater good of everyone suddenly bestow upon them the right to demand things of you – like you've become some kind of public commodity, and rights are only things that other people have, not heroes. It's especially frustrating when society digs its heels in and tries to avoid changing anything that led to the problems in the first place. Then you can either walk away, or change things by force – neither of which are appreciated.

Between the constant pain of losing loved ones, of reconnecting for the first time with beloved strangers who are at once both familiar and different and mourning those who shared your memories; between the variety of struggles and challenges each world throws at you simply for existing, and the sometimes insurmountable task of preventing tragedies – the whole thing is simply exhausting. While physically being reborn means that the physical consequences of each life are separate from the next, the mental and emotional toll carries over.

Sometimes the pain and grief and exhaustion just crystallises into apathy – everything just feels so pointless; especially when I know that I'll be reborn into another version of my current world sooner or later. Feeling like you're living variations of the same life over and over again, where you have to accomplish the same things each time, even if the methods and the basic trappings of your existence differ… it's getting harder and harder for me to consider myself a 'good person'. At times I feel like a stranger to the girl I once was. I know she wouldn't recognize me – she hasn't. Sometimes, all that's really holding me together is the thought that if there is some kind of afterlife out there, if my loved ones really are watching over me… I don't want them to be ashamed of who I become.

So finding myself back here, in my universe of origin where I don't have any foreknowledge… it's an opportunity for healing that is very much needed. While a lifetime of chronic pain, exhaustion, illness, and an ultimately terminal diagnosis isn't terribly relaxing, being able to focus on myself and my own issues is extremely liberating. There's even a therapy I attend; which is meant to help me deal with living with chronic health issues, come to terms with terminal illness, and prepare and plan for things to get worse. Since it's not like there's anything similar to cover the complications caused by repeated reincarnation, it really helps that a lot of the concepts are transferable.

Part of the decompressing and recovering I'm doing involves writing out the things I've been through. Full disclosure in therapy isn't exactly an option unless I want to spend the rest of my life in a psych ward, and I spend enough time hospitalized as is. But I need to get it out, and I need to tell someone. So I find myself writing my memoirs, wondering what the people I leave behind in this life will make of them when I'm gone. Even if I never finish them in this life, perhaps someday I'll have another chance to pick up where I left off.

In the end, I find it incredibly ironic that the first time I find myself returning to my original universe, the only place for me to publish my memoirs is as fanfiction; and that after everything I've been through, no one will ever believe it to be anything more than just another story.

* * *

**A/N:** If you would like to add to this series with your own stories featuring other reincarnations of CT, just let me know so I can link you as a contributing author. If I get enough interest I'll create a collection anyone can add to on their own, but it seems a bit early to make assumptions like that, so for now I'm just making the offer.

I'd prefer it if you check with me to make sure that you won't be contradicting any of the stories I have plotted out to write myself for continuity purposes, but I can probably work around it regardless - I'm honestly hoping that the memoirs become a sort of community project, in which case CT would be a communal OC that I wouldn't have exclusive rights to, anyway. I intend to create an additional reincarnated OC as CT's little brother in the first story, who would have the same problem with dying as ze does. This offers up another potential OC that could be used.

Stories can be set in any fandom - the only restriction is that, due to the process that resulted in zir repeated reincarnations, all stories set before the incarnation where ze begins publishing zir memoirs have to be set in fandoms where there are either powers/abilities or advanced medical tech that allow an infant to survive the shock and trauma of reincarnation. Ze can be reborn as anyone - an OC or a canon character, and can even be reborn into worlds where ze was born previously - either AU from zir past lives in that world or even as someone else living in the world at the same time as zir own past self.

While ze was female in zir first life, ze has enough lifetimes alternating gender to deal with dysphoria and can be written as male, female, or anything in between.

Earlier reincarnations can include various levels of dysphoria, up to and including being trans; but I intend to have zir eventually become comfortable identifying as genderfluid, with a preference for female.

If you want to write an OC who is male or trans male, you can use the little brother OC.

I look forward to seeing what other people come up with!


	2. Series Outline

As of now, the series contains the following stories:

**_~Stories In The Series So Far~_**

**Intro**  
Provides an introduction to FCT  
Origin Story; **Complete**

**The Spaces Between**  
(Naruto Fandom; slight AU prior to OC's birth)  
CT is reborn in an attempt by Senju Tobirama's son to reincarnate his father, which does not go as planned.  
Dark, Action and Suspense, Happy Ending. **WIP**

**Heroes Are Overrated**  
(Harry Potter Fandom; canon prior to OC's birth)  
CT is reborn as Harry Potter, and proceeds to have a very bad time.  
OC is very deeply traumatized here, was not expecting to be reborn again, is deeply unimpressed by the seeming determination of the multiverse to give her a penis, and her early world-saving attempts are repeatedly accidentally thwarted by Dumbledore.  
OC is Not Amused.  
Dark comedy. **WIP**

**More Than Eyes Could Ever See**  
(Naruto Fandom; canon prior to OC)  
OC is reborn as the little sister of Uchiha Shisui. Her plans to save her precious Aniki are derailed when the Kyuubi attack leaves her with struggling with both brain damage and blindness.  
Drama, Family, Tragedy; **WIP**

**When You Make Plans, Fate Laughs**  
(Naruto Fandom; mostly canon until OC regains past memories)  
OC concluded during her last life that the one consistent fact she could always rely on was that she would always be destined to fall in love with some version of Uchiha Itachi.  
Fate prompted reincarnated her as Uchiha Sasuke.  
Primarily a character development fic; wherein OC acknowledges herself as FCT for the first time, and is forced to deal with all of the issues she's been ignoring.  
**_Features explicit discussion of heavy themes and adult issues, including but not limited to:_**  
Abuse, Child Abuse, Child Soldiers, Torture, Killing, Death, Unethical Medical Experimentation, Addiction, Genocide, Incest, etc.  
I attempted to balance the more serious tone of this fic with excessive use of very black, macabre, and sometimes irreverent and inappropriate humour; however issues WILL be addressed seriously and resolved to some degree as realistically as possible.  
Dark Comedy, Tragedy, Dark Themes, Black Humour, Personal Growth, Healing, Family, Hurt/Comfort, Forgiveness, Recovery; **WIP**

**The Sky Is Falling!**  
(KHR Fandom; canon up to OC)  
CT is reborn as Sawada Tsunayoshi. She is Not Impressed.  
Humour, Adventure; **WIP**

**Black Magick**  
(Harry Potter Fandom; pre-canon)  
OC is reborn as Cassiopeia Black. She's going to change the world, whether they like it or not.  
Humour, Family, Political, Eventual Romance; **WIP**

**_~Additions To The Series Will Continue To Be Added At Any Time~_**

There are a few other stories I have planned but not fleshed out. However, after the fourth story began writing itself on me (It made a perfect character development/transition fic between story #3 and the one I had originally slated to be #4); I promised myself not to even think about any of them until my outlined/partially-written fics were finished and posted.

* * *

An Extended Summary List of Series Stories:

* * *

**THE SPACES BETWEEN**

* * *

The story of when, how, and why my life turned into a self-insert fanfiction saga, and how I accidently broke myself trying to fix the world - all while pretending to be someone else. Badly.

(In which inappropriate humour becomes a coping mechanism for terrible things.)

* * *

In other words:

**What (Not) To Do When **

**Your New Otou-Sama Is A Mad Scientist  
Determined To Reincarnate His Dead Father**

**He Gets You Instead**

Or:

**The Phrase:  
"You Poor, Unfortunate Soul"**

**Unexpectedly Becomes A Lot More Relevant**

Alternatively:

**How I Disgraced The Name  
Of  
Senju Tobirama**

AKA:

**Joining Root**  
**&  
Other Fun Times With Danzou-Sama**

* * *

**Relationships:**

Uchiha Itachi/Original Character(s); Namikaze Minato/Uzumaki Kushina; Uchiha Fugaku/Uchiha Mikoto; Nara Shikaku/Nara Yoshino; TBD - Relationships;

* * *

**Characters:**

Uzumaki Clan, Uzumaki Kushina, Uzumaki Naruto, Original Uzumaki Character(s);

Senju Clan, Senju Tobirama, Senju Hashirama, Senju Tsunade, Original Senju Character(s);

Uchiha Clan, Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Mikoto, Uchiha Fugaku, Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Kagami, Original Uchiha Character(s);

Shimura Danzou; Orochimaru; Sarutobi Hiruzen, Mitokado Homura, Utatane Koharu;

Nara Shikaku, Nara Yoshino, Nara Shikamaru, Nara Ensui, Original Nara Character(s);

Yamanaka Inoichi, Yamanaka Fuu, Yamanaka Ino, Original Yamanaka Character(s);

Akimichi Chouza, Akimichi Torifu, Akimichi Chouji, Original Akimichi Character(s);

Aburame Shibi, Aburame Torune, Aburame Shino, Original Aburame Character(s);

Hyuuga Hiashi, Hyuuga Hizashi, Hyuuga Neji, Original Hyuuga Character(s)

Sai, Shin, Yamato | Tenzou, ANBU Root;

Namikaze Minato; Nohara Rin; Haruno Sakura; Hatake Kakashi; Jiraiya;

Konoha Citizens; Konoha Ninjas; Konoha 12;

Uchiha Obito, Akatsuki;

* * *

**Additional Tags:**

**_This Is Not Going To Go The Way You Think_****_ ; _****_Reincarnation_****_ ; _****_Self-Insert_****_ ; _****_What-If_****_ ; _****_And Now For Something Completely Different_****_ ; _**

**_Trauma_****_ ; _****_Psychological Trauma_****_ ; _****_Childhood Trauma_****_ ; _****_Medical Trauma_****_ ; _****_Eye Trauma_****_ ; _****_Basically Lots and Lots of Trauma_****_ ; _****_Trauma For Everyone!_****_ ; _****_Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD_****_ ; _****_Past Rape/Non-con_****_ ; _****_Past Child Abuse_****_ ; _****_Past Character Death_****_ ; _****_Past Sexual Abuse_****_ ; _****_Past Torture_****_ ; _****_Past Violence_****_ ; _****_Past Lives_****_ ; _****_Dark Past_****_ ; _****_Past Domestic Violence_****_ ; _****_Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism_****_ ; _****_Past Drug Addiction_****_ ; _**

**_Child Soldiers_****_ ; _****_Child Abuse_****_ ; _****_Child Neglect_****_ ; _****_Child Abandonment_****_ ; _****_Child Death_****_ ; _****_Parent-Child Relationship_****_ ; _**

**_This Is Actually Pretty Dark_****_ ; _****_It's Root_****_ ; W_****_hat__ Do You Expect?_****_ ; _****_Everyone Has Issues_****_ ; _****_Mental Health Issues_****_ ; _****_This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things_****_ ; _****_OC is a Terrible Actor_****_ ; _****_Root Fixes That_****_ ; _****_Sort Of_****_ ; _**

**_Evil Shimura Danzou_****_ ; _****_Shimura Danzou Being an Asshole_****_ ; _****_Basically Just Being Himself_****_ ; _****_Anyone Who Associates With Danzo is a Terrible Human Being_****_ ; _****_Looking At YOU Sarutobi_****_ ; _**

**_Uzumaki Kushina is a Goddess_****_ ; _****_BAMF Uzumaki Kushina_****_ ; _****_Uchiha Mikoto is an Actual Goddess_****_ ; _****_Kid Uchiha Itachi_****_ ; _****_Tiny Tachi is Adorable_****_ ; _****_Baby!Tachi is Precious_****_ ; _****_Childhood Friends_****_ ; _****_Childhood Memories_****_ ; _**

**_Destroying Childhood Memories_****_ ; _****_Brainwashing_****_ ; _****_Curse Seals_****_ ; _****_Fuinjutsu_****_ ; _****_Human Experimentation_****_ ; _****_Medical Experimentation_****_ ; _****_Unethical Experimentation_****_ ; _****_Government Experimentation_****_ ; Evil Scientists Being Evil ; _****_Orochimaru Being Orochimaru_****_ ; _****_Danzou Is His Own Warning_****_ ; _****_So is Orochimaru_****_ ; _**

**_Uchiha Itachi Being a Good Brother_****_ ; _****_Uchiha Itachi is a Good Friend_****_ ; _****_The Uchiha Deserved Better_****_ ; M_****_os_****_t__ of Them Anyway_****_ ; _****_Sibling Bonding_****_ ; _****_Protective Siblings_****_ ; _****_Little Brothers_****_ ; _****_Little Brothers Are Precious_****_ ; _**

**_Intersex_****_ ; _****_Hermaphrodite_****_ ; _****_Gender_****_ Dysphoria _****_; _****_Body_**_** Dysphoria**__** ; **_**_Body Image_**_** ; **_**_Body Modification_**_** ; **_**_Untested_****_ Body Modification With Orochimaru_****_ ; _****_Non-Consensual Body Modification_****_ ; _****_Untested Seals_****_ ; _****_Orochimaru is Unexpectedly Helpful_****_ ; _****_Orochimaru is Still Not Nice_****_ ; _****_Orochimaru Does What He Wants_****_ ; _**

**_OC Has Terrible Ideas_****_ ; _****_Things That Shouldn't Work_****_ ; _****_Some Do Anyway_****_ ; _****_Not Always The Way She Wanted_****_ ; _****_Others Blow Up In Her Face_****_ ; _****_Sometimes Literally_****_ ; _****_This'll End Well_****_ ; _****_Not_****_ ; _****_What Could Possibly Go Wrong?_****_ ; _****_Damnit Shisui!_****_ ; _****_It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better_****_ ; _****_Eventual Happy Ending_****_ ; _**

**_Cameo by Future!CT_****_ ; S_****_e_****_e__ If You Can Spot He_**r**_ ; _****_Asexuality Spectrum_****_ ; _****_Sexuality Crisis_****_ ; _****_Demisexuality_****_ ; _**

**_Overthrowing the Government_****_ ; _****_It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You_****_ ; _****_Itachi Is Concerned_****_ ; _****_Everyone Needs A Hug_****_ ; _****_Revolutionaries ; _****_Naras Getting Interested_****_ ; _****_OC Was Trying To Fly Under The Radar_****_ ; _****_This Is NOT Helping_****_ ; _**

**_Not All Of Us Can Be Neurotypical_****_ ; _****_Shinobi Methods of Dealing With This Are Shoddy_****_ ; _****_Basically: They Don't_****_ ; _****_Who Needs Functional Social Skills_****_ ; _****_We're Highly Trained Killing Machines_****_ ; _****_Asperger Syndrome_****_ ; _**

**_Mokuton_****_ ; _****_Kekkei Genkai | Bloodline Limit_**_** ; Sharingan ; Mangekyou Sharingan ; **_**_Uzumaki Kekkei Genkei ; _****_Uzumaki Clan Lore ; _****_Water_****_ ; _****_Tobirama Was Secretly A Mermaid_****_ ; _****_OC Is Certain_****_ ; _****_It's The Only Explanation That Makes Sense_****_ ; _****_Her Control Over Water Is Ridiculous_****_ ; _**

**_Multilingual_****_ ; _****_Languages and Linguistics_****_ ; _****_Different Countries Have Different Languages And/Or Dialects_****_ ; _****_Japanese_****_ ; _****_Japanese Mythology & Folklore_****_ ; _****_Japanese Culture_****_ ; _****_Chinese New Year_****_ ; _**

* * *

**HEROES ARE OVER-RATED**

* * *

Honestly? Magic is bullshit.

Even more bullshit than chakra; OC didn't actually think that was _possible_.

As if that isn't bad enough, OC is very badly traumatized, was not expecting to be reborn again, is deeply unimpressed by the seeming determination of the multiverse to give her a penis, and her early world-saving attempts are repeatedly accidentally thwarted by Dumbledore.

OC is Not Amused.

* * *

OC identifies as female, is physically male, and refers to certain body parts as

**_"The Genitalia That Must Not Be Named" _**

She really is Just Done With Everything.

Sort-of no main character pairing - OC makes a horrified vow of celibacy as a small child that later turns out to have been an accidental Vow.

* * *

**Relationships:**

James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/James Potter, Sirius Black/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/James Potter/Lily Evans Potter; TBD - Relationships;

* * *

**Characters:**

Harry Potter, Lily Evans Potter, James Potter, Sirius Black, Original Female Character(s), Potter Family ( cymric here ) ;

Peter Pettigrew, Barty Crouch Jr., Voldemort, Scabbers, Nagini, Various Death Eaters, Doloris Umbridge, Cornelius Fudge;

Petunia Evans Dursley, Vernon Dursley, Dudley Dursley, Marge Dursley, Residents Of Privit Drive Muggle OCs;

Hermione Granger, Aberforth Dumbledore, Remus Lupin, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, Augusta Longbottom, Newt Scamander, Amelia Bones, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Percy Weasley, Ron Weasley, Weasley Family;

Draco Malfoy, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Andromeda Black Tonks, Ted Tonks, Nymphadora Tonks, Arcturus Black, Cassiopeia Black, Black Family;

Hedwig, Dobby, Winky, House Elves, Goblins, Centaurs, Merfolk, Veela, Crookshanks, Jinx the Snake, Hex the Raven;

Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall, Severus Snape, Pomona Sprout, Filius Flitwick, Other Teachers;

Theodore Nott, Blaise Zabini, Gregory Goyle, Vincent Crabbe, Daphne Greengrass, Pansy Parkinson, Tracey Davis, Lily Moon, Millicent Bulstrode, Slytherin Students;

Cedric Diggory, Susan Bones, Hufflepuff Students;

* * *

**Additional Tags:**

_**OC is Harry Potter**** ; **__**_OC_ is Not Amused**_**_ ; O__C Was Not Expecting Reincarnation_** _**;**_ _**Again**_ _**;**_ _**OC Would Like To Know Why Fate Keeps Giving Her A Penis**_**_ ; _**_**Which Shall Henceforth Be Referred To**** As**_**_ ; The__ Genitalia That__ Must Not Be Named ; OC Still Copes Using Inappropriate Humour ; At Least She Thinks It's Funny ; _**_**She's**** Deeply Traumatize****d**_**_ ; So__ Maybe Not The Best Judge_** _**; **_

_**Trauma ; **__**Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD ; **__**Psychological Trauma ; **__**Childhood Trauma ; **__**Child Abuse ; **__**The Dursley Family Is Not Nice ; **__**It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You ; **_

_**Grief/Mourning ; **__**Past Relationship(s) ; **__**Past Abuse ; **__**Past Child Abuse ; **__**Past Character Death ; **__**Past Torture ; **__**Past Violence ; **__**Past Lives ; **__**Dark Past ; **__**Reincarnation ; **__**Self-Insert ; **__**Sort Of ; **__**Naruto References ; **__**Slytherin Harry Potter ; **__**Because NINJA! ; That's Why ; **__**Not A Crossover ; **__**Just A Cameo At One Point ; **_

_**Triad ; **__**Threesome - F/M/M ; **__**Sad Sirius Black ; **__**Sirius Black is Harry Potter's Parent ; **__**Papá Sirius Black ; **__**Tadi James ; **__**Mamaí Lily ; The Black Family Tree Has Greek & French Roots ; The Potters Are Welsh ; Lily Is Half-Irish ; **_

_**Her First Life With Loving, Protective Parents & No Abuse ; And Then They Die ; The Dursleys Are Not An Acceptable Consolation Prize ; **__**She Finally Has a Mum Who'd Walk Through Fire For Her ; **__**Lily Potter Is The Best Mum ; **__**So GTFO Molly ; **__**No One Is Replacing Lily ; **_

_**Albus Dumbledore Being An Idiot**__** ; **__**He's Not Really Evil ; **__**Just Very Misguided ; The Results Are Unfortunately Very Similar ; H**__**e Means Well ; **__**He's Just Very Bad At Being A Decent Person ; H**__**e Tries ; Ineffectively ; But He Does Try ; **_

_**OC Gets Drunk & Commiserates With Aberforth ; **__**She Suggests Forming a Club ; **__**People Whose Lives Were Unintentionally Ruined By Albus ; **__**(Not So) Anonymous ; **__**Aberforth Founds The Train-wReck Albus Struck Here Society ; **__**AKA The TRASH Society ; **__**It's Surprisingly Popular**__** ; **__**Snape Joins ; **_

_**OC Is Deeply Unimpressed By Everything ; **__**This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things ; **__**OC Just Wants To Get The Plot Over With Early ; **__**So She Can Curl Up In A Ball & Weep In Peace ; **__**Damnit Dumbledore! ; **__**Just Leave Her Alone ; S**__**creaming Into The Void ; It D**__**oesn't Fix Anything ; **__**But It Makes Her Feel Better ; **_

_**Luna Lovegood is a Good Friend ; **__**Neville Longbottom is a Good Friend ; **__**Harry Potter Is Protective ; S**__**he Can't Help It ; **__**Asexuality Spectrum ; Asexual Relationship(s) ; **_

_**Draco Malfoy Was Not Expecting This Harry Potter ; T**__**o Be Fair ; **__**No One Was ; **__**Lectures In The Common Room On Being Slytherin ; **__**Harry Isn't Impressed ; **__**The Upper Years Are Amused ; **__**Doesn't Mean They Aren't Taking Notes ; **__**Firstie Or Not ; **__**She's Not Actually WRONG ;**_

_**Gender Dysphoria ; **__**Body Dysphoria ; **__**Trans Female Character ; **__**Trans Harry Potter ; E**__**ventually ; **__**She's Not Happy About Having To Invent A Transition Process Herself ; **__**Seriously People ; T**__**hey Have Magic ; **__**It Should Not Be This Difficult ; **_

_**Severus Snape Was Not Expecting This ; **__**He Needs To Get Drunk To Deal With It ; **__**There Is Not Enough Alcohol In The World ; **__**Why is the Rum Gone? ; He'**__**s Getting Very Tired Of Dragging Harry Potter Back To Hogwarts ; He Has No Idea How The Brat Keeps Escaping ; But He Would Like It To Stop Now Please ; **_

_**Filius Is Amused ; **__**You Can't Buy This Entertainment ; Untold Mayhem & Endless Chaos ; The Weasley Twins Are In Awe ; **__**McGonagall Is Off Balance ; **__**She Has A Bad Feeling About This ; She's Right To Worry ; She & Snape Become Drinking Buddies ; **_

_**OC Would Like To Go Home Now ; **__**She Just Isn't Sure Where That Is ; **__**Identity Issues ; **__**Everyone Has Issues ; **__**OC Is Not Drunk Enough For This ; **__**Hello Alcoholism ; **__**My Old Friend ; Snape Wants To Know Where She's Getting & Keeping All That Booze ; He Confiscates It ; She Just Gets More ; **_

_**OC Needs Help ; A**__**nd Hugs ; A**__**ll The Hugs ; **__**OC is Just So Done ; **__**Accidental Vows ; **__**Words Have Power ; **__**Be Careful What You Wish For ; B**__**ecause MAGIC ; **__**Magick Is A Thing ; **_

_**The Wix World Is Not A Nice Place To Be Neuro-Atypical ; **__**Autistic Luna Lovegood ; **__**Luna Is Precious ; **__**Harry Will Protect Her ; **__**Autistic Neville Longbottom ; **__**Harry Will Protect Him Too ; **__**She's Starting To Notice A Pattern ; **__**Her Best Friends Are Rarely Neurotypical ; **__**It's Like She Has A Sixth Sense ; **__**Magnetizing Her To Neuro-Atypical People ; **__**And Setting Off All Her Protective Instincts ; **__**Mama Bear Harry Potter ; **__**Don't Mess With Her Cubs ; **__**Autistic Newt Scamander ; **_

_**Asperger Syndrome ; **__**Severus Snape Has Asperger's ; **__**No One's Ever Handled It Well ; A**__**t All ; **__**Especially Dumbledore ; **__**It's Why He's So Bitter ; **__**Snape's Just So Done With Humanity ; **__**And Human Interaction ; **__**He'd Like To Go Live Alone In A Nice Cave Somewhere ; **__**And Never Speak To Anyone Else Ever Again ; **__**Dumbledore Insists On Keeping Him In School ; **__**Where He Was Bullied And Traumatized ; **__**Surrounded By Screaming Adolescents ; **__**Who He Can't Just Ignore ; **__**He Has To Teach ; **__**Interact With The Hellspawn ; **__**Be A Role Model ; **__**Severus Snape Regrets Everything ; H**__**e Tries His Best ; It's Just So Hard ; And Neurotypical People Make No Sense To Him ; **_

_**Slytherins Being Slytherins ; **__**If You Didn't Want To Be Blackmailed ; **__**You Shouldn't Have Done It ; S**__**ounds Legit ; **__**Harry Thinks So ; D**__**umbledore Is Worried ; F**__**or All The Wrong Reasons ; **_

_**Polyglot ; **__**Multilingual Character ; **__**Welsh Character ; **__**Irish Language ; **__**Cymric ; **__**Latin ; **__**Ancient Greek ; **__**Français | French ; Japanese ; **__**Old Languages ; **__**Languages and Linguistics ; **__**Dead Languages ; **__**Old Gods ; **__**Celtic Mythology & Folklore ; **__**References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore ; **__**Mythical Beings & Creatures ; Pureblood Culture ; **__**Japanese Culture ; **__**Japanese Mythology & Folklore ;**_

* * *

**MORE THAN EYES COULD EVER SEE**

* * *

OC is reborn as the little sister of Uchiha Shisui. Her plans to save her precious Aniki are derailed when the Kyuubi attack leaves her with struggling with both brain damage and blindness.

She tries to find a way to avert the massacre and change the future as a disabled civilian child; all while struggling to live with her disabilities, and find a new purpose now that her options are limited.

Our OC is very happy to be born female here. Also, she eventually comes to the conclusion that no matter what, she will always fall in love with some version of Uchiha Itachi.

* * *

_Finding myself back in Konoha should have made me happy. For a while, it did. _

_My memories hadn't completely returned yet, but I knew I was back with people I loved. Not to mention, I had the best Nii-san in the world. Why wouldn't I be happy? _

_I had the hazy knowledge that someday Aniki would need me to save him, but that was alright. I knew that eventually I'd remember everything I needed to know; and after all - I was a prodigy. I'd protect him. _

_Then the Kyuubi attacked, and I remembered. _

_To make matters worse, I was badly injured; with permanent consequences. I would never be a shinobi. _

_How would I save Shisui-nii now? _

_As if that wasn't enough, there was a massacre coming. _

_Not only was Shisui-nii in grave danger, but if I couldn't find a way to fix things, the entire Uchiha Clan would be slaughtered by the boy (man) I had loved, saved, and married in another life. _

_But this time I was a Uchiha as well. _

_I was ashamed to realise I'd probably still love him even if he went through with it. That I'd still care for the one who would kill my family. _

_I'd love him even if (when) he killed me._

* * *

**Relationships:**

Uchiha Itachi/Original Female Character(s); Uchiha Shisui & Original Female Character(s); Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Shisui & Original Female Character(s); Uchiha Sasuke & Original Character(s); Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Shisui; Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke; Uchiha Fugaku/Uchiha Mikoto; (Past) Uchiha Itachi/Original Female Character; Others TBD;

* * *

**Characters:**

Original Uchiha Character(s), Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Fugaku, Uchiha Mikoto, Uchiha Kagami, Uchiha Izumi, Uchiha Tekka, Uchiha Uruchi, Uchiha Clan;

Uchiha Obito, Akatsuki, Shimura Danzou, Sarutobi Hiruzen, Mitokado Homura, Utatane Koharu;

Senju Tobirama, Senju Tsunade, Hatake Kakashi, Yamato | Tenzou, ANBU, Jariaya;

Nara Shikaku, Nara Yoshino, Nara Shikamaru, Nara Ensui, Original Nara Characters;

Hyuuga Hizashi, Hyuuga Hinata, Hyuuga Hiashi, Hyuuga Neji, Hyuuga Kou, Original Hyuuga Character(s);

Yamanaka Inoichi, Yamanaka Fuu, Yamanaka Santa, Original Yamanaka Characters;

Akimichi Chouza, Akimichi Torifu, Inuzuka Tsume, Inuzuka Hana;

Aburame Shibi, Aburame Torune, Aburame Shino, Original Aburame Character(s);

Sai, Shin, Orphans of Konoha, ANBU Root;

Konoha Civilians, Konoha Shinobi, Konoha Clans, Hi no Kuni Citizens, Hi no Kuni Nobles, Fire Diamyo;

* * *

**Additional Tags:**

_**OC Is A Girl ; **__**She's So Happy About The Lack Of Penis ; **__**Women Being Awesome ; **__**It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You ; **__**Prodigy OC ; **_

_**Shisui's Little Sister ; **__**Uchiha Shisui Is The Best Big Brother ; **__**Big Brother Uchiha Shisui ; **__**Protective Uchiha Shisui ; **__**Genius Uchiha Shisui ;**_

_**Angst & Tragedy ; **__**Child Abuse ; **__**Grief/Mourning ; **__**Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD ; **__**Past Relationship(s) ; **__**Past Lives ; **__**One-Sided Attraction ; **__**One-Sided Relationship ; **__**Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism ; **__**Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism ; **_

_**Uchiha Fugaku Is Actually A Good Clan Head ; **__**BAMF Uchiha Mikoto ; **__**BAMF Uchiha Shisui ; **__**BAMF Uchiha Itachi ; **__**Uchiha Sasuke Is SMOL & Precious ; **__**Uchiha Sasuke Must Be Protected ; **__**Uzumaki Naruto Is A Little Shit ; **__**But Still Adorable ; **__**Protect The Children ; **__**Fight Me ; **__**I Will Go Down With This Ship ; **_

_**Accidents ; **__**Head Injury ; **__**Blindness ; **__**Brain Damage ; **__**Disabled Character ; **__**I Am More Than My Disabilities ; **__**Coping with Disabilities ; **__**OC Is Blind ; **__**A Blind Uchiha ; **__**It Goes About As Well As You'd Expect ; **__**Trauma ; **__**Eye Trauma ; **__**Childhood Trauma ; **__**Medical Trauma ; **_**Near Death Experiences ;**

_**TRYING TO MAKE A DIFFERENCE ; **__**As A Civilian In A Shinobi World ; **__**OC Is Not Having Any More Of Your Shit Sarutobi ; **__**Konoha Has A Lot Of Problems ; **__**OC Will Fix This If It Kills Her ; **__**TBH It Probably Will ; **__**Come At Me Bro ; **__**Being Proactive ; **__**It's A Revolution ; **__**Shinobi Aren't The Only Ones With Power ; **__**BAMF Civilians ; **_

_**Sharingan ; **__**Mangekyou Sharingan ; **__**Auditory Genjutsu ; **__**Genjutsu ; **__**Arranged Marriage ; **__**Uchiha Elders ; **_

_**Shimura Danzou Being An Asshole ; **__**As Always ; **__**Evil Shimura Danzou ; **__**So What Else Is New ; **_

_**Root Liberation ; **__**Not Abandoning Her Old Friends ; **__**They Have No Idea Who She Is ; **__**That's Okay ; **__**She Loves Them Anyway ; **__**Not Gonna Leave Them With Danzo ; **__**DONE WITH YOUR SHIT ; **__**So Very Done With Sarutobi ;**_

_**Asperger Syndrome ; **__**Asexuality Spectrum ; **__**Demisexuality ; **__**OC Loves All These Beautiful Neuro-Atypical People ; **__**This Life She Goes Looking For Them ; **__**Because Why Not ; **_

_**Harry Potter References ; **__**Multilingual Character ; **__**Languages & Linguistics ; **__**Languages ; **__**Dead Languages ; **__**Ancient Greek ; **__**Old Welsh ; **__**Cymric ; **__**French ; **__**Irish Language ; **__**Japanese Mythology & Folklore ; **__**Japanese Culture ; **__**Chinese New Year ; **_

_**OC Swears ; **__**A Lot ; **__**Big Brother Does Not Approve ; **__**She Would Really Appreciate A Drink Right Now ; **__**Big Brother Approves Even Less ; **__**OC Starts Swearing In Dead Languages ; **__**Big Brother Thinks It's Gibberish ; **__**So He Reluctantly Approves ; **__**OC Is Very Smug About This ; **__**She Outsmarted Uchiha Shisui ;**_

* * *

**WHEN YOU MAKE PLANS, FATE LAUGHS**

* * *

In her last life, our OC happily concluded that there would never be a Shinobi-verse where she would not fall in love with and marry Uchiha Itachi.

Fate promptly reincarnated her as Uchiha Sasuke.

* * *

AKA:

**That Moment **

**When You Realize ****You've Been Reincarnated **

**As Your Old Lover's Little Sibling**

Or:

**In Which Our OC **

**Is Finally Beginning To Come To Terms **

**With Her Place In The Multi-Verse**

And Finally:

**Uchiha Izumi Must Die**

* * *

**Summary: **Wherein our OC begrudgingly accepts that she's Fate's Chew Toy, Uchiha Itachi will never be anything but infuriatingly loveable, and she really needs to start getting used to occasionally having a penis.

She chooses the name CT (Chewie to her friends... if she ever dares to tell anyone), and ponders the dubious ethics of Orochimaru's body-switching jutsu.

Also, is it _really _incest if you weren't related in your past lives?

Does being in love with your older brother still count as incestuous if your current body is asexual?

She honestly isn't sure whether that makes her memories of marriage to his alternates more or less awkward. Because really, _ew._

* * *

I should probably note that I haven't entirely made up my mind yet about whether or not the Uchiha will be massacred in this.

I have a basic outline for what will happen if it goes either way, though I'm leaning towards exploring the comic potential of keeping them around to witness Sasuke's rapidly deteriorating sanity as he juggles the many, many reincarnation-related issues he's having with trying to save them; and get their reactions to his decision to raise Senju Tobirama from the dead to Fix All The Things.

However, I'm also quite tempted to explore Sasuke's reaction to having the massacre happen _anyway_, so that he can raise Tobirama to go after Danzou afterwards, and make very sure that Hiruzen Wishes He'd Stayed Retired.

Either way, he'll make sure that Tobirama Regrets Everything.

Primarily a character development fic; wherein OC acknowledges herself as FCT for the first time, and is forced to deal with all of the issues she's been ignoring.

* * *

While this is largely intended to be a Black Comedy, I do intend to explore a lot of serious themes in it in a serious way.

While I freely admit to wanting to write this because I found the premise hilarious, that isn't why I've been working on it ahead of schedule. (At least not entirely.)

I tried to ignore it like I have the other plot bunnies I'm sitting on for this series until I've finished the four stories I already have outlined, but I keep getting sidetracked with ideas for this one because it has the potential to be as important to CT's overall character development and growth as it does to be entertaining.

Though she deals with a lot of major things in each of her lives, there are a few reoccuring issues that keep getting covered with humour and shoved to the side, because there are always more important things to deal with and despite her poor coping skills she's still functional.

Despite writing this story to be humorous, I'm hoping to have CT make some serious revelations and come to terms with them in this.

Part of this is due to the fact that when she awakens in this life, everything is just "too much" for her to deal with and her coping skills are now hindering more than helping; meaning she's no longer functional.

This is why the decision of whether the Uchiha Clan lives or dies in this fic is still up in the air - while stopping the Uchiha massacre is what she's trying to focus on dealing with, it's not actually the point of this fic at all.

The point is for her to be forced to face the problems caused by the inappropriate coping skills she keeps using, and to finally begin to deal with them and come up with healthier plans for the future. While I'm intending for it to read a bit like a comedy of errors, it's largely as a way to offset the very serious themes CT's going to be dealing with.

The survival of the Uchiha Clan as a whole - while very important to her personally - is completely irrelevant to the true plot.

She's going to have to deal with these issues whether or not she saves them - saving them will just make her less likely to admit she needs help, while not saving them will just give her plenty of additional issues.

I gave in and started working on it because there's a big gap in character development between the third and fourth stories I had, and I couldn't find a way to bridge it without dragging out either one.

This story lets me deal with that perfectly. The amusement factor is just a bonus.

I listed the various themes I intend to explore in this fic at the end. While not explicitly stated below, Mental Health Issues will also be a feature.

* * *

_**Features Explicit Discussion Of Heavy Themes & Adult Issues  
Including But Not Limited To:**_

Abuse, Child Abuse, Child Soldiers, Torture, Killing, Death, War, Unethical Medical Experimentation, Addiction, Genocide, Incest, etc.

Attempted to balance with excessive use of very black, macabre, and sometimes irreverent and inappropriate humour; however issues WILL be addressed seriously and resolved to some degree as realistically as possible.

Additional/Expanded Trigger List In Story Notes.

* * *

**Relationships:**

(Past) Uchiha Itachi/Original Character, (Past) Uchiha Itachi/Original Female Character, One-sided Uchiha Itachi/Uchiha Sasuke; Uchiha Fugaku/Uchiha Mikoto; Relationships - TBD;

* * *

**Characters:**

Original Characters, Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Mikoto, Uchiha Fugaku, Uchiha Shisui, Uchiha Kagami, Uchiha Izumi, Uchiha Tekka, Uchiha Uruchi, Uchiha Clan;

Uzumaki Naruto, Umino Iruka, Haruno Sakura, Rookie Nine, Konoha 12;

Sarutobi Hiruzen, Shimura Danzou, Mitokado Homura, Utatane Koharu;

Hatake Kakashi, Yamato | Tenzou, Sai, Aburame Torune, Yamanaka Fuu, Senju Tobirama;

Orochimaru, Yakushi Kabuto, Uzumaki Karin, Hozuki Suigetsu, Juugo;

* * *

**Additional Tags:**

**_OC is Uchiha Sasuke ; _****_Reincarnation ; _****_Fate Is Laughing At Her ; _****_Not Another Penis ; _****_Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism ; _****_Life Isn't Fair ; _****_Neither Is Fate ; _****_Harry Potter References ; _**

**_Awkward Crush ; _****_Inconvenient Romantic Feelings ; _****_Uchiha Sasuke Hates Uchiha Izumi ; _****_Uchiha Izumi Must Die ; _****_Not Seriously ; _****_Sasuke Doesn't Actually Want Anyone To Die ; _****_He Just Wants Her To Stay Far Away From Itachi ; _****_Uchiha Shisui Is Very Entertained ; _****_Uchiha Shisui Lives ; _**

**_Sasuke Spent His Toddler Years Insisting He Would Grow Up To Be Itachi's Wife ; _****_He Was Very Determined ; _****_Now He Knows Why ; _****_It's Very Awkward ; _****_Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues ; _**

**_Uchiha Itachi Just Wants To Be A Good Big Brother ; _****_Protective Uchiha Itachi ; _****_Uchiha Itachi Being a Good Brother ; _****_Uchiha Itachi Lives ; _****_Uchiha Itachi Has Issues ; _**

**_Uchiha Sasuke Is Miserable ; _****_He Needs Alcohol ; _****_Sasuke Isn't Drunk Enough For This ; _****_He Considers Alcoholism A Valid Coping Skill ; _****_What Do You Mean I Can't Drink My Way Through Childhood ; _****_Sasuke NO. Just Don't ; _****_Mikoto Is Concerned ; _**

**_Everyone Is Very Concerned ; _****_Sasuke Resents Your Enforced Sobriety ; _****_He Wants More Alcohol ; _****_All The Alcohol ; _****_Fugaku Wants To Know Where His Sake Went ; Goddamnit Sasuke ; _****_Drinking to Cope ; _****_Admitting You Have A Problem ; _****_Uchiha Sasuke Is Not Okay ; _**

**_Uchiha Massacre ; _****_CT Is Getting Very Tired Of Defeating Danzo ; _****_And Cleaning Up After Sarutobi's Mistakes ; _****_It's Not Paranoia If They're Really Out To Get You ; _**

**_Edo Tensei ; _****_Senju Tobirama Is Not Amused ; _****_He's Been Resurrected By A Weeping _Child_ ; _****_A Weeping _Uchiha_ Child ; _****_A _Drunk_ Weeping Uchiha Child ; _****_Who Bawls All Over Him And Gets Snot On His Clothes While Ranting About Danzou ; _****_Who Has Apparently Gone Mad ; _**

**_Tobirama Really Wants To Know Where Hiruzen's Been During All This ; _****_This Was Not What He Signed Up For ; _****_He's Supposed To Be Retired ; _****_Danzo What Have You Done ; _****_Tobirama Does Not Remember Hiruzen Being This Incompetent ; _****_Tobirama is So Done ; _****_He Really Would Like To Go Back To Being Dead Now ; _**

**_Senju Tobirama Needs a Hug ; _****_Uchiha Sasuke Needs a Hug ; _****_So Does Itachi ; _****_AND SHISUI ; _****_Everyone Needs A Hug ; _**

**_Asperger Syndrome ; _****_Asexuality Spectrum ; _****_Demisexuality ; _****_Asexuality ; _****_Sexuality Crisis ; _****_Asexual Uchiha Sasuke ; _**

**_Talking About Issues ; _****_Talking To Dead People ; _****_Because She Can't Admit What's Wrong ; _****_Not To Anyone Alive ; _****_Tobirama Is Awkward ; _****_Because Feelings ; _****_Tobirama Regrets Everything ; _****_The Author Regrets Everything ; _****_The Author Regrets Nothing ; _**

**_Mentions Of Incest ; _****_No Actual Incest ; _****_Because Incest Is Not Nice ; _****_Not Good ; _****_So No ; _****_Lots Of Trigger Warnings ; _**

* * *

**The themes/issues this fic deals with are:**

* * *

**_Gender Dysphoria -_ **While the first story touched upon her experiences with gender dysphoria, she was not entirely male, and soon had the comfort of knowing her body was meant to be female if not for her father playing mad scientist. She was able to focus on the female side of being intersex and largely ignore the differences once she was living as female. She then spent the second largely in denial, before transitioning and pretending it never happened. In the third she was born female and spent it focusing on other issues. So this is the first life where she's actually going to be dealing with her gender dysphoria instead of simply denying reality to make it go away. Dealing with this is an important part of maintaining her mental health, and she has to do it here, where there is no way for her to transition that isn't an illusion, and she can't simply create a way herself in less than a decade or more of dedicated research and study.

* * *

_**Obsession/Fixation -** _While she has honestly fallen in love with two different versions of Itachi, she's also allowed herself to become fixated on him in what could potentially become a very unhealthy way. This life is less about torturing her and more about forcing her to face up to her obsession, and accept that she can't regain control of her existance just by fixating on maintaining a romantic relationship with a single person and their various alternates throughout the multiverse. It does this by putting her in a situation where that person is still an important part of her life, but she never can or will have the relationship with them that she wants, and forcing her to deal. While an Itachi/Sasuke pairing may work in fanfiction, in reality incest is extremely unhealthy and this shows her dealing with her obsession with that understanding.

* * *

_**Identity -** _One of the things that keeps causing her problems is that she's still clinging very hard to her original identity as being her "true" identity; which is a problem because it ignores everything she's done and gone through and the person she's become. She deals with the question of "Who am I?" and tries to accept that her experiences are adding to the person she is, rather than diminishing it. This also ties into the next theme below.

* * *

_**Sexuality - **_Again, this was touched on the first story, but she mostly blamed the gender issues as the source of her problems and ignored it otherwise. In the second it was a non-issue due to involuntary enforced celibacy - though she was still grieving when she learned about the Vow, so she was mainly relieved she wouldn't have to struggle with guilt from moving on, and refused to acknowledge anything else. It was equally unproblematic in the third since she was closer to her original body chemistry. Here, she's actually forced to face the reality of her body chemistry changing in her new life and the effects it has on her sexuality. This is important because part of her original identity was as a highly sexual person; while Tobirama's DNA impacted her sex drive negatively in her first rebirth, she still had one even if she was technically Grey-A. My Uchiha Sasuke is almost always a sex-repulsed, aromantic-asexual - so having his body chemistry impacts her, and she needs to deal with the confusion and conflict from that. She needs to accept that sex isn't that important to who she is - that she can be herself without wanting it and that's okay.

* * *

_**Alcoholism -**_ She flirted with alcoholism a bit in her original life, but moved past it; in the first story she could just emphasize a bit with others because of her past. In the second, she was too depressed and traumatized to realise that she had crossed the line; while she cared deeply for her loved ones there she also spent most of that life either drinking or in denial. In the third she didn't have access to alcohol, so she had to learn to cope without it. In this life she becomes a full-blown child alcoholic, and is forced to recognize that she is Not Okay. She's forced to get help, and eventually acknowledge she needs it.

* * *

_**Denial -**_ CT has gotten very good at lying to herself about things that her mind refuses to deal with. While this has helped her cope with a lot of things she wouldn't have been able to deal with so well otherwise, she used to _notice_ that she was doing it. She knew she was lying to herself; she just chose to ignore it because she was afraid that forcing herself to accept reality would drive her stark raving mad. Eventually she doesn't even realise she's doing it. This breaks down a bit here and she's forced to relearn self-honesty.

* * *

_**Trauma -** _She has gone through lots of trauma in every single one of her lives, and while she's dealt with some of it there's a lot more that she's been supressing, pushing down, to the side... eventually it's all going to come out. She has a lot of anger and pain to deal with.

* * *

**THE SKY IS FALLING**

* * *

Saving the world is one thing, and CT has made her peace with the fact that she feels compelled to help avert tragedies when she knows they're coming.

But the Mafia?

This is one Sawada Tsunayoshi that's not going to take this lying down.

_Especially_ since Vongola bullshit is not helping her keep her previous life's promise to find a way to deal with problems that doesn't involve alcohol.

* * *

**Summary: **Tsuna does things her way, with a little help from a wild Kyoya, an unexpectedly helpful Byakuran, and a surprisingly supportive Varia.

* * *

**Relationships:**

Sawada Iemitsu/Sawada Nana; Hibari Kyouya/Sawada Tsunayoshi, Sawada Tsunayoshi/Freedom, Sawada Tsunayoshi/Not Being In The Mafia; Relationships - TBD;

* * *

**Characters:**

Original Characters, Original Trans Character(s), Sawada Tsunayoshi, Sawada Nana;

Hibari Kyouya, Vongola Guardians, Rokudou Mukuro, Fon, Bermuda von Veckenschtein, Xanxus, Byakuran Gesso;

Yamamoto Tsuyoshi, Yamamoto Takeshi's Mother, Hibari Kyouya's Mother, Hibari Kyouya's Father, Hibari Clan;

Vindice, Checker Face | Kawahira, Talbot, Arcobaleno, Varia, Daniela | Vongola Ottavo, Namimori Middle Disciplinary Committee Members;

Sawada Iemitsu, Timoteo | Vongola Nono, Vongola Ninth Generation, Reborn, Chrome Dokuro's Mother,

Lambo Bovino, Yamamoto Takeshi, Sasagawa Ryouhei, Sasagawa Kyouko, Kurokawa Hana, Chrome Dokuro, Kakimoto Chikusa, Joushima Ken, Mochida Kensuke, Miura Haru, Fuuta de la Stella, Irie Shouichi, I-Pin;

* * *

**Additional Tags:**

_**OC is Tsuna ; **__**Trans Female Character ; **__**Female Sawada Tsunayoshi ; **__**Reincarnation ; **__**Naruto References ; **__**Harry Potter References ; **_

_**Sawada Tsunayoshi is So Done ; **__**Tsuna's Fought For Her Village ; **__**Fought For Her Clan ; **__**Even Fought To Save The World ; **__**She Draws The Line At Fighting For The Mafia ; **_

_**Tsunayoshi is Not Having Any Of Vongola's Shit ; **__**The Mafia Is Not The Most Important Thing In The World ; **__**She Will Fight For Her Right To Stay Out Of It ; **__**She Can Fix The Arcobaleno Curse As A Civilian ; **__**Thank-You-Very-Much ; **_

_**Sawada Iemitsu's A+ Parenting ; **__**Sawada Iemitsu Bashing ; **__**Timoteo | Vongola Nono's A+ Parenting ; **__**Timoteo Vongola is an Asshole ; **__**Sawada Iemitsu Being an Asshole ; **__**Sawada Iemitsu Being an Idiot ; **__**Flame Sealing ; **_

_**Unconventional Uses for Dying Will Flames ; **__**Unconventional Problem Solving ; **__**Tsuna Ships ; **__**Herself/Freedom ; **__**She's A Cloudy Sky ; **__**Xanxus Is Amused ; **__**The Varia Are All Very Entertained ; **__**Byakuran Is Fascinated ; **__**Flame Harmonization ; **__**Flame Alchemy ; **_

_**This Is Not Going To Go The Way Nono Was Expecting ; **__**Daniela Thinks Timoteo Deserves It ; **__**He Does ; **__**She'd Like To Turn Him Over Her Knee ; **__**Iemitsu Doesn't Understand ; Not An Unusual Occurance TBH ; **__**Sawada Nana's A+ Parenting ; **__**Oblivious Sawada Nana ; **_

_**Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism ; **__**Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism ; **__**Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism ; **__**Alcohol Withdrawal ; **__**Alcoholics Anonymous ; **__**OC Shows Up To An AA Meeting ; **__**And The People There Are Like ; **__**Why Is There A Foetus Here? ; **__**This Is NOT Okay ; **_

_**OC Just Wants To Learn To Cope Without Looking For A Bottle ; **__**She's Starting Early ; **__**She's Already Angry ; **__**And Getting Angrier ; **__**She's Aware How Bad This Looks ; **__**She Just Doesn't Care ; **__**Her Give-A-Shit Is Broken ; **_

_**Kyoya Is Fascinated ; **__**By This Small Angry Animal ; **__**Hitting Things Is Therapuetic ; **__**Possibly Not The Best Plan ; **__**Too Bad ; **__**Some People Are Asking For It ; **__**Kyoya's In Love ; **__**Tsuna is Oblivious ; **__**She Won't Stay That Way ; **__**Hibari Doesn't Know The Meaning Of The Word Subtle ; **__**It Takes A While ; **_

_**To Be Fair ; **__**He Keeps Attacking Her ; **__**She Appreciates The Sparring ; **__**But He Also Leaves Bodies On The Porch ; **__**Unconscious Not Dead ; **__**But She Still Thinks It's A Threat ; **__**Hunts Him Down To Kick His Ass ; **__**Tell Him She's Not Intimidated ; **__**He Puts A Bow On The Next One ; **__**It Doesn't Really Help ; **__**Communication Failure ; **_

_**Slow Burn ; **__**Possessive Hibari Kyoya ; **__**Protective Hibari Kyoya ; **__**Asperger Syndrome ; **__**Being Neurotypical Is Over-Rated ; **_

_**Organized Crime ; **__**Italian Mafia ; **__**Yakuza ; **__**Crimes & Criminals ; **__**Sawada Tsunayoshi Is Not Vongola Decimo ; **__**Yakuza Tsunayoshi Sawada ; **__**It's All Hibari's Fault ; **__**It Was An Accident She Swears ; **__**Yakuza Hibari Family ; **_

_**Japanese Culture ; **__**Japanese Mythology & Folklore ; **__**Namimori Town ; **__**Namimori Middle Disciplinary Committee ; **_

_**BAMF Sawada Tsunayoshi ; **__**Adorable Sawada Tsunayoshi ; **__**Smart Sawada Tsunayoshi ; **__**Poor Sawada Tsunayoshi ; **__**Child Sawada Tsunayoshi ; **__**Sassy Sawada Tsunayoshi ; **__**Tsuna Is A Little Shit ; **_

_**Reborn Has A Headache ; **__**THIS IS NOT WHAT HE SIGNED UP FOR ; **__**Damnit Timoteo! ; **__**Reborn Wants To SKIN Iemitsu ; **__**Preferably Alive ; **_

* * *

**BLACK MAGICK**

* * *

CT finds herself back in the wix world, this time growing up as Cassiopeia Black. She's determined to change the world and save her family - and make a better future for the alternate of the best mother she's ever known.

Cassiopeia Black is going to change the world - whether they like it or not.

* * *

**_Taking Over The World_**

_Was_

**_An Accident._**

**Really.**

* * *

**Relationships:**

Cassiopeia Black/Original Female Character(s), Cassiopeia Black/Tom Riddle, Eventually - Relationship; Relationships - TBD;

* * *

**Characters:**

Original Character(s), Cassiopeia Black, Sirius Black, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Bellatrix Black Lestrange, Regulus Black, Andromeda Black Tonks, Walburga Black, Orion Black, Alphard Black, Druella Rosier Black, Cygnus Black, Dorea Black Potter, Arcturus Black, Cygnus Black III, Lucretia Black Prewett, Pollux Black, Marius Black, Arcturus Black III, Irma Crabbe Black, Melania Macmillan Black, Cedrella Black Weasley, Violetta Bulstrode Black, Lycoris Black, Callidora Black Longbottom, Charis Black Crouch, Regulus Black I, Sirius Black II, Sirius Black I, Elladora Black, Lysandra Yaxley Black, Arcturus Black I, Hesper Gamp Black, Ursula Flint Black, Belvina Black Burke, Phineas Nigellus Black, Black Family;

* * *

**Additional Tags: **

**_OC Is Cassiopeia Black ; _****_Reincarnation ; _****_Not A Self-Insert ; _****_OC Is Coming Into Her Own ; _****_She's Less Bitter ; _****_So She Can Admit That Magic Isn't Terrible ; _****_It's Actually Kind Of Awesome ; _**

**_Women Being Awesome ; _****_BAMF Women ; _****_Women In Power ; _****_Women's Rights ; _****_Witches ; _****_Witchcraft ; _****_Covens ; _****_Covenants ; _****_Parseltongue ; _****_Parselmouths ; _**

**_World Domination ; _****_Accidental World Domination ; _****_Except Not ; _****_She's Just Looking Out For Her Family ; _****_Accidental Overlord ; _****_She Never Wanted To Rule The World ; _****_But She Got The Job Anyway ; _**

**_Olde Magick ; _****_Family Magick ; _****_Celtic Mythology & Folklore ; _****_References to Ancient Greek Religion & Lore ; _****_Japanese Mythology & Folklore ; _**

**_Naruto References ; _****_Katekyou Hitman Reborn! References ; _****_KHR References ; _****_The Black Family Is A Lot Like The Mafia ; _****_TBH ; _****_It's All Very Nostalgic ; _**

**_Français | French ; _****_Japanese ; _****_Ancient Greek ; _****_Cymraig ; _****_Brythonic ; _****_Irish Language ; _****_Latin ; _****_Dead Languages ; _****_Languages and Linguistics ; _****_Languages ; _****_Language of Flowers ; _****_Language Kink ; _****_Foreign Language ; _**

**_Homophobic Language ; _****_Racist Language ; _****_Ass-Kicking ; _****_Racists Getting Shut Down ; _****_HARD ; _**

**_Cassiopeia Black Is Not Having Any Of Your Shit ; _****_She Doesn't Care Who You Are ; _****_Who The Fuck Cares Who Your Grandparents Were ; _****_YOU Have Done Absolutely NOTHING ; _****_So WTF Should I Respect YOU? ; _****_Cassiopeia Black Does Not Care About Your Opinion ; _**

**_Sane Tom Riddle ; _****_Young Tom Riddle ; _****_Possessive Tom Riddle ; _****_Tom Riddle is Not Voldemort ; _****_Manipulative Tom Riddle ; _****_Teenage Tom Riddle ; _****_Tom Riddle is His Own Warning ; _****_Tom Riddle Is Giving Her A Headache ; _**

**_Smitten Tom Riddle ; _****_She Isn't Very Happy About This ; _****_She'd Like To Know How The Hell This Happened ; _****_And How Does She Make It Stop? ; _****_Older Woman/Younger Man ; _**

**_Tom Riddle Is Persistant ; _****_Like A Fungus ; _****_He's Very Determined To Go After Her ; _****_This Feels Very Familiar ; _****_In A Distinctly Funhouse-Mirror-Sort-of-Way ; _**

**_Explicit Language ; _****_Profanity Is A Language ; _****_Cassiopeia Says So ; _****_Patriarchal Societies Are The Worst ; _****_Cassiopeia Was Not A Feminist Before ; _****_Being Reborn At The End Of The 19th Century Changes Things ; _**

**_Giving Lesbianism A Try ; _****_Because of Reasons ; _****_Such As Men Being Pigs ; _****_Even When They Think They're Being Progressive ; _****_They Aren't ; _****_The End Of The 19th Century & Beginning Of The 20th Were Not Really There Yet ; _**

**_Cassiopeia Doesn't Have The Patience For This Shit ; _****_She Will See Your Testosterone And Raise You Estrogen ; Tom Riddle Is A Feminist ; _****_Cassiopeia Was Not Expecting This ; _****_This Tom Riddle Is A Believer ; _****_She Converted Him ; _**


End file.
